Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
