I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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