Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
