Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
