I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
