ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
