This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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