Umm I'm too high to move.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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