Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
