im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize