If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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