I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
