will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize