If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
