Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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