i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Betty ford says i'm here all night
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
