We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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