ya dads aren't the best wingmen
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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