I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
