im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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