Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
