first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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