You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
