Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
