Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
