i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize