dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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