and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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