Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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