So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
being pregnant is like rehab
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
