last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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