It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
