So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
