I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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