After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
