I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Cover your peen. We're going out.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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