yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
