She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
