He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
FUCK WHALES
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
