i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he puts the penis in happiness.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
