i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize