I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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