We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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