If that was your dad, he is hot
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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