used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
