69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
