I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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