Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
