shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
