im about as happy as oj after his trial
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
false alarm. still invincible.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Randomize
