Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
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