You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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