My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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