Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
