Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
