he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My penis needs a shock collar
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Randomize
