His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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