you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
