i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
