Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Duck Duck Cougar?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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