Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
