would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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