the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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