I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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