I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
