So drunk its hurt
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
