WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
