Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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