i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I would fuck him just for his dog
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
