I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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